5 Things I've Learned From Children

While we try to teach our children all about life,

Our children teach us what life is all about.

-Angela Schwindt

As an author of a children’s book I knew spending time with children would improve my writing. I never imagined children would also improve my wellbeing. Not only did they allow me insight into their innocent and constant expanding minds, giving me material for new stories, they also inspired a new perspective on life. Out of the many things I’ve learned from children these are the five, which made the biggest impact on me.

1. Children are the best storytellers. At times writing can seem like only a job and a means to make money. This is when procrastination takes hold and I feel my passion for writing slipping away. When I witness a child pick up a toy and create an adventure involving it, or open a book they can’t read and make up their own story, it’s like jumper cables to my imagination. The excitement and enthusiasm on their faces remind me how much I love storytelling and it’s the best tool there is to recharge my creativity and passion for writing. There’s no better way than to learn from the best.

2. Children are brutally honest. Yes, children can be blunt about pointing out a pimple on your face to the few pounds you’ve gained. When it comes to their opinion they also have no problem giving it. If something is bothering them they let you know. The same goes for how much they love something or someone. They don’t hold back how they feel or what’s on their mind because it’s important to them that others are aware. Their complete honesty has helped me to be more truthful with others and myself.

3. Children don’t hold grudges. When children get into a fight with other children, five minutes later they are playing together again. If they don’t get their own way, once something new catches their attention they forget about it and move on. Children have the ability to let go of negativity and put their focus back on what’s most important, having fun and being happy. They forgive and forget, letting go of the unnecessary. This is something I’m working hard to incorporate into my life.

4. Children see beauty in the ordinary. A colorful pile of leaves to a bird’s nest can stop children in their tracks because they feel it’s worth taking the time to admire. Everything and everyone around them is either new or special and they are unable to contain their appreciation for it. Their observation skills have shown me that I’ve had my eyes closed for years, missing out on things I’ve become numb to. I’ve since opened them and slowed down to take in things and people I’d normally walk right by.

5. Children make you want to start over. To children, happiness is a way of life. To adults, happiness is an added bonus. When you are dealing with life struggles it’s easy to let yourself get completely sucked into its negative grasp, allowing the things you can’t control bother you. To observe a child who is fearless, carefree, and happy takes me back to a simpler mentality, reminding me that life struggles are just struggles and they shouldn’t define my life or make me weak. Once I can let go of my own fears and anxiety built up from years of experience, I know I will find my way back to some of the innocence I lost along the way. When I watch children play I think, “I want to be like that again, fearless, carefree, and happy.”

 (kids image via Pixabay)

Coalition of Children's Book Authors

"Literacy is a bridge from misery to hope." - Kofi Annan

In October of 2014, I became a volunteer for the Coalition of Children's Book Authors. It is a coalition founded by Dr. Michael Provitera in which authors donate shipments of books to needy children in Africa. The coalition has connected with the Children Care Development Organization in Tanzania.

When I first saw a picture of the children standing beside an almost empty bookcase, I knew I had to find out more about this coalition through volunteer Layne Case. She is also a children's author and founder of Amity Publications, which enriches literacy for all ages. As soon as I saw pictures from her last shipment, I knew I had to be a part of the next one and help fill those bookshelves.

I donated copies of Lucy's Amazing Friend to Layne's latest shipment, which was sent out in November and titled "Giving Thanks to Tanzania." Yesterday, I found out they received the shipment and the pictures enclosed of the children holding our books brought about so many emotions. I grew up surrounded by books and it's something I never even realized I took for granted. Here is a part of the post along with pictures Layne put on her Facebook page regarding the shipment.

"Exciting News! The "Giving Thanks to Tanzania" shipment of books, sent on Nov 24, 2014 have finally arrived in Tanzania. Here's what Majaliwa Mbogella sent me from the Director of the CCDO :
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We are very happy to inform you that we have received the box of books you have sent us on November 24th last year. We've found all the enclosed copies of "CHARLIE" plus other books like LUCY'S AMAZING FRIEND, IT'S NOT ALWAYS AS IT SEEMS, LUCAS THE TRAVELING CRAB, FLANNERY'S FIRST TRIP, ETHAN'S BARBERSHOP SINGING FAMILY, and THE TWO BITE CLUB that were contributed to us by your friends. We are touched in a very special way by the effort that you and your fellow authors show at serving children in need. Please receive and pass our heartfelt thanks to you and them. We wish you the best of luck in all the activities you're doing. We have attached pictures of our children holding books.
By CCDO Deputy Director
Ezgard Fungo
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We are always looking for people to help the Coalition of Children's Book Authors sponsor books and the shipment costs for the packages sent to Africa. If you would like to get involved and find out more information you can visit Dr. Michael Provitera's page: docprov.com/childrens-coalition.html, Layne Case at Amity Publications: amitypublications.com, or my website: stephanieworkman15.com.
To learn more about the Children Care Development Organization visit: envaya.org/ccdo and ccdo-tanzania.org.

(images via the Children Care Development Organization)

Picture Books About Autism I Found At My Local Library

"The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance." - Nathanial Brandlen

In the third grade there was a boy in my class with disabilities who could not walk and could not speak. He could roll his head around and make very loud noises. His behavior was very unusual to my eight-year-old self and the rest of the class, yet it was not explained to us as to why he acted the way he did. Parents started to complain at one point when some students’ grades began to dip because they couldn’t concentrate in class.

As I got older I found out he had cerebral palsy. I understand there are rules regarding confidentiality with disabled students, but I often wonder if a need to know basis should have been permitted in my third grade class. Shouldn’t our class at least have been taught about cerebral palsy?

     

If we were educated on the disability we might have been more inviting and accepting towards him. We might have felt more as a whole rather than a class with a disabled student in it. Maybe then I wouldn’t have constantly stared at him in curiosity when I should have been paying attention to the teacher. Some of us were even afraid to go near him. How are children going to let go of fear of differences if they are not given the resources needed to understand?

     

After publishing Lucy’s Amazing Friend: A Story of Autism and Friendship, I decided to go to my local library to see what other picture books I could find on autism. I avoided books, which only stated the facts and looked for stories that would entertain and enlighten all children by placing them in a relatable situation. I wanted to find books that would answer the question I had to find out on my own. “Why is he or she acting like that?” Here are the books I was able to find at the library.

Lucy’s Amazing Friend: A Story of Autism and Friendship by Stephanie Workman, illustrated by Tim Raynes

Lucy doesn't understand why the new boy in Miss Reed's class doesn't like her.

"I said hi and he ignored me," she said.

“Lucy, that’s Daniel. He has autism,” Miss Miller responded.

“What’s autism?” asked Lucy.

From that moment on Lucy works to make friends with Daniel in this bright, upbeat book about autism. Once she succeeds, Lucy becomes determined that the other kids learn to accept Daniel as well. With an estimated 1 in 68 now falling somewhere on the autism spectrum, “Lucy’s Amazing Friend” is just the right book to help children understand that we are all different, and while those differences can be challenging, they also make us each special.

The Flight of a Dove by Alexandra Day

Betsy, a young girl with autism, is enrolled in a school for children with developmental disabilities. Always isolated and alone during school, it is a friendship with a pet dove that begins to bring her out of her shell.

Looking After Louis by Lesley Ely, illustrated by Polly Dunbar

Louis is the new boy at school and has autism. The girl who sits next to him in class is very observant and intrigued by his behavior. Through a game of soccer the other students try to find a way to connect with Louis and join him in his world.

My Brother Charlie by Holly Robinson Peete and Ryan Elizabeth Peter, illustrated by Shane W. Evans

Charlie and Callie are twins. Charlie has autism and Callie doesn’t. Through Callie’s eyes we learn about Charlie, along with life lessons about togetherness, hope, tolerance, and love.

Ian’s Walk by Laurie Lears, illustrated by Karen Ritz

Julie and Tara want to go to the park and feed the ducks. They don’t want to bring their younger brother Ian who has autism, but their mother forces them to. On the way to the park Julie is often embarrassed by Ian’s actions. It is on the way home her perspective changes as she begins to see the beautiful and unique things Ian sees.

Nathan Blows Out the Hanukkah Candles by Tamie Lehman-Wilzig and Nicole Katzman, illustrated by Jeremy Tugeau

It's Hanukkah and Jacob is annoyed when his autistic brother Nathan blows out the candle every time they light the menorah. He’s also worried about Nathan embarrassing him in front of the new boy next door. In the end it is Nathan who shows Jacob what the celebration of Hanukkah is really all about.

I wrote Lucy’s Amazing Friend based on a friendship my husband had in high school with a student with autism. I wanted to turn their story as teenagers into a picture book for children. I’m not an expert, I don't have autism, and I'm not a parent of a child with autism. I’m a storyteller who was inspired to write about a friendship, which happened to include a boy with autism. This is why I only gave a summary of each book. It’s up to you to decide whether or not they are appropriate stories to teach children about autism. It’s up to your children to decide whether or not they find them both entertaining and enlightening. I hope some of them do because we need more easily accessible books out there to educate children on the topic of autism. We need more books for children that answer the question, "Why is he or she acting like that?"

 (Group of people dancing on beach image via Getty Images by Shabbir Ferdous Photography)

Using Quotes in Your Self-Published Book: How I Learned the Hard Way

“Whatever you may have heard, self-publishing is not a short cut to anything. Except maybe insanity. Self-publishing, like every other kind of publishing, is hard work. You don’t wake up one morning good at it. You have to work for that.” - Zoe Winters, Smart Self-Publishing: Becoming an Indie Author

Self-publishing always terrified me, so I avoided it. This resulted in years of unsuccessfully reaching out to publishing houses and agents. After I wrote Lucy’s Amazing Friend, a picture book about a young girl who befriends a boy with autism, I decided to take the plunge and self-publish. It was important to me that others read this book, and I wanted absolute control over every aspect. 

I spent weeks researching self-publishing, along with finding a reputable self-publisher. I had no problem with the idea of self-marketing because I had a mentor, a long list of connections, and pages filled with marketing ideas. I also had the motivation and determination to make my book well known. 

Every day my excitement grew as my book went through the format stage before it was ready for publication. Although the whole process was a lot of work, preparing myself for what to expect had made it less stressful. Or so I thought.

     
Two months before my book was to be published I was reading through the PDF file to check for last minute typos when I realized something. I had failed to research an important aspect of my book, which was using someone else’s quote in my own published work for profit. I stared at my computer screen in disbelief. How could I have overlooked it?

Rosemary Crossley is an Australian author and advocate for disability rights and facilitated communication. She is also the founder of the Anne McDonald Centre, which works for people with little or no speech across Australia and around the world. She originated the quote “Not being able to speak is not the same as not having anything to say.” It was everything I was trying to say in my book, and I used the quote in one of the illustrations as seen below.

I also used it on the back of the book.

Did I need her permission to do so?

     
I went back online. The more I read about quotes and saw how mixed the responses were, the more I realized I needed to get her permission. I was not going to risk getting sued despite what I read. 

Rosemary is in the big leagues. She’s a published author and even has her own Wikipedia page. Also, one of her books was made into a movie. I didn’t think she would have a problem with me using her quote because the content of my book promotes acceptance and embracing the uniqueness within each other and ourselves. My problem was getting in contact with her. She lives in Australia and I live in the United States.

I quickly got to work and found the Facebook page and website for the Anne McDonald Centre. I emailed the Centre and also left a message on its Facebook page. I sat in front of my computer for hours with knots in my stomach, waiting for a response. Australia is fourteen hours ahead. Who knew when I would get a response or even one at all? I could easily take the quote off the back of the book, but not off the illustration. The future of Lucy's Amazing Friend was currently in her hands. I don’t think I’ve ever been more stressed out in my entire life.

Thankfully, the next day I received a response on the Centre’s Facebook page that said Rosemary was traveling out of the country, but they would pass the message on to her. I was somewhat relieved. I was halfway there. Every day I continued to check my computer for her response, but still there remained nothing. Every day my stomach sickened a little bit more.

Three weeks later I still hadn't heard anything. I was in complete panic mode and eating Tums like it was candy. My next step was to call the Centre once I could line up the time difference so we were both awake. In the meantime I sent another message to the Facebook page. Immediately, Rosemary wrote back and said she had replied a while ago giving me permission, but for some reason I never received the email.

Instantly, my stomach felt better and about twenty pounds of anxiety lifted from my shoulders. What made me smile the most was Rosemary's response to using her quote. “Just go for it,” she wrote.

While I was researching online about using other people’s quotes in your own published work for profit I came across four questions.

     1. How are you using the copyrighted work?

     2. What is the nature of the copyrighted work?

     3. How much of the copyrighted work do you use?

     4. Does your use harm the copyright owner's ability to market the work?

My first honest answer was “huh?” My second answer was I needed to get her permission.

No matter what, if you want to publish someone else’s quote in your book, get his or her permission and get it in print. If you want to go further than that there are official forms online you can print out to have them sign. Crediting the source is not a substitute for permission. As far as using quotes when authors are no longer living or from very old books, I would definitely do more research on what to do.

     
It’s not worth the risk, even if you find some way around it. The author of the quote will be flattered and maybe even give you a great review, helping with the promotion of your book. I recommend sending them a copy of your book as a form of gratitude, as well. I sent a copy of mine to Rosemary and she really enjoyed it, even expressing a desire to share it in schools in Australia. I was lucky things turned out okay. Hopefully, you will have the same positive outcome I did.

(praise the lord cat image via memegenerator.net) (open books with flying letters image via Getty Images by Dominik Pabis)